Sluggish. Hhmm. That is kind of how I feel right about now. Peaceful. That is another thing I’m feeling right about now: victorious. That is one reality that I cannot deny.
The sluggishness comes from my mental exhaustion. Overall, the work of the project is going well and there are only a few things that don’t seem in place: my ability to think clearly, my physical energy, and my internal clock. (Wow, is it off!) But these things have to be shaken, broken down and moved so that I become dependent on God to help me do the tasks assigned to me. After seeing God work faithfully in my own weaknesses and others around me, I realize that this place of weakness is most likely a good place to be. O Faithful God!
The peacefulness has come from situations on this trip where I had to rely on a Faithful God and He surprised me more than once with His extreme faithfulness. So right now, even with all the other "stuff" that needs to be done looming in my mind, I feel at peace because of a grounded trust. Trust is something that God continually works into our hearts day by day. Sometimes we think we can "conjur" up some kind of faith in God, but that faith is only a combination of confidence in ourselves, reckless radicalism, and a fear to actually just trust. People throw on this kind of faith and then start busying themselves with things to "do for God" because they are actually afraid to just sit and trust Him. Real faith is uncomfortable a lot of times because we can’t comfort ourselves with our own accomplishments. It’s the "Mary and Martha" story that plays out in our personal lives every day. Martha’s faith kept her busy with no time to be peaceful; but Mary’s faith made her to sit on the ground in an uncomfortable place but she had perfect peace in her place of simple trust. This simple trust in God brings about weird and wonderful kind of peace.
This reality of victory isn’t because our project is ahead of schedule. It isn’t because everyone on the team is having a fabulous week.. It isn’t because everything is "set in stone"–done. The realization of victory is felt, acknowledged and known because the realization of God’s hand working with us has been made evident to us day to day. When you are sure of God’s presence in something, you feel excited and confident that He is going to work His will in ways you may not be able to imagine. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t tired. That doesn’t mean that you are completely comfortable. And it doesn’t mean that you have no doubts at all. It simply means that your trust and confidence is in Something else, something you have put all of your faith into. And if the Something proves It’s trustworthiness time and again to you, then believing a promise of victory is easy to do.
Trusting in God to fight for us throughout this trip has revealed a picture of God’s faithfulness to us, because every time we called on Him, He came rushing to our rescue. Every time our pride got in the way of our goal, when we asked for humbleness, God poured it out abundantly. Every time our hearts were broken, when we asked Him to fix them, He did.
--Taylor Lindsey, Assistant Journalist.
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